This Is The Useless Car Tech Could You Happily Live Without
Modern cars come with some incredible tech installed these days, including cruise control that can take the pain out of highway driving, massaging seats that soothe your soul and crystal clear stereos. But not every automotive tech is created equal, some is pretty awful.
With this in mind, we turned to you and asked for your picks for the worst automotive technology that you think you could live without. Thankfully, you came back with tons of suggestions for features that you wish would get in the bin.
From voice control that struggles with accents to gas pedals that aren’t used to your mad skills, we were inundated with great responses to this one. So sit back, relax and uncover the automotive features that Jalopnik readers can live without. If there’s one we missed, let us know in the comments below.
Anything But AirCon
“Air con, electric windows, keyless ignition, heated rear windows, CD player, and auto headlights and wipers.
“Are the things I use. Literally anything else is a feature on my car I have never used.
“So my answer is, anything not on that list. Anything that is not one of those is completely superfluous to me.”
An easy car fan to please, clearly.
Suggested by: skeffles
Cutting Edge Tech
“The plastic engine cover. I don’t know why they make it look pretty as I’m guessing that nobody really cares or notices except for mechanics who have to remove the damn thing to work on the car.”
Are we calling plastic “tech,” or is this more of an annoying accessory?
Suggested by: midlifemiata
Start Me Up
“Auto Start-Stop. In 2.5 years that $400 feature has saved me 4.5 gallons of gas. At this rate I’ll break even on the feature in the year 2074.”
You have at least saved 4.5 gallons in gas-emissions though, so that’s something.
Suggested by: phuckcotakoo
I’m Sorry, I Didn’t Quite Catch That
“My last three cars have all had voice control and I never used any of them, except once or twice to try them — and each of those attempts ended with a quick “Cancel. Cancel. CANCEL’.”
It’s impossible for me to think about voice commands without my mind immediately jumping to this very Scottish sketch.
Suggested by: floridaman2020
A Poor Workman Blames His Tools
“Accelerator pedal cutoff when you touch the brake pedal.
“Designed for the layperson who only knows how to drive with one foot. Incredibly annoying for the advanced driver who uses left-foot braking.
“I’m totally fine with most of the other modern amenities. Don’t confuse one automaker’s terrible implementation for something wrong with the whole idea. I.e. giant touchscreens are fine as long as the buttons have an intuitive layout and the screen reacts quickly.”
A lot of you were keen to point out that it might not be the tech’s fault, it could be down to the implementation.
Suggested by: stalephish
Yet More Passwords
“Anything that requires creating an account.”
Would you rather create an account or sign up for a subscription?
Suggested by: blatzblaster
Your Lights!
“Automatic headlights. My problem with them is people keep forgetting whether they are on or off, so people are driving around after dark and thinking their headlights are on but really they aren’t. Or the rain or fogis bad enough that you need headlights, but the light level is just high enough not to trigger them so people don’t switch them on. It isn’t that they are not handy, but that idiots on the road switch their brains off and assume the headlights are brighter than they are.”
We’ll maybe file this one away with the other “handy, but poorly implemented” camp, right?
Suggested by: plantsdaily
Less Tech, Please
“There are three things I want in my car that exist in modern cars: adaptive cruise control, cooled/vented seats, and a back-up camera.
“Otherwise, I don’t want any of it. I am happy to turn my own lights on and off. Ditto for wipers. I’ve been keeping my car in between the lines since 1999 just fine. Same for stopping the car when there was danger. Every car I’ve driven with auto-brake has sensed something that wasn’t any danger and auto-braked causing total chaos. I’m capable of checking my blind spots and, unlike the vast majority of people apparently, have my mirrors set up in a way where I can see what’s happening behind me. I have no interest in self-driving, whatever you want to call it, until I can enter a destination into the car and it will get me there while I read a book. I hate tablets on the dashboard, and I loathe flipping through screens to turn the heat down. I don’t need a 14-inch GPS screen. My phone has worked as a GPS just fine since 2010. And a media player. And a phone that I always have on me anyway. I don’t need self-parking. Or assistance with parallel parking. I don’t need cross traffic assistance or backup assistance because I have eyes and a neck that turns.
“This old man is exhausted and the cloud he is yelling at has drifted off.
“But truly, I don’t need – or want – almost all of it. I really think that instead of solving distracted driving with a thousand driver aids we just need to mercilessly enforce distracted driving.”
Is less tech and better driving the solution we actually all need?
Suggested by: Kerberos824
No Phones
“Any smartphone app to control your car. Do not need the hassle and the expense.”
But is it worth it to be able to unlock your car with your phone?
Suggested by: 4jimstock
Focus
“Anything that takes the driver’s attention away from the business of driving.
“The lane-keeping tech is only there because drivers are more and more distracted by the stuff going on inside the car, instead of paying full attention to what is outside.”
So things like games on the car’s infotainment and vehicles controls hidden away in multiple menus, right?
Suggested by: r0ckburner
Don’t Use It Anyway
“There’s a fundamental problem (for me) with this question. I have no doubt that there is all manner of useless tech in my car that I never use. But since I never use it, I can’t for the life of me think of any of them right now.”
You’ll never know what you had until it’s gone.
Suggested by: muqaddimah
Just Use CarPlay
“Probably OnStar. In terms of basic features, I can’t think of a single reason I’d ever use it, much less pay for a subscription. It seems like a relic for old people who can’t figure out Android Auto or CarPlay.”
Are we reaching the point where in-car systems are useless and we’re all just using CarPlay anyway?
Suggested by: hankelwankel
Broom Broom
“Fake engine noises. The one on my Focus ST was particularly maddening and just sounded horrible. If the car isn’t loud enough to be heard inside, fair enough, let me listen to my kids scream or the radio. If I want to hear my car I’ll modify the intake or exhaust to do so (increasingly…I won’t.)”
Whether it’s making an EV sound like it’s got an engine or is giving your hatchback a bit more grunt, they’re all bad.
Suggested by: santacruzin6
Drive Yourself
“AutoPilot FSD RoboTaxi level 2, or 3 ?? unless Elon’s promise turned into reality and hit level 5 soon.”
Whatever it’s called these days, it doesn’t work.
Suggested by: hayase
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